Parenting time just flew by – and now she’s 21

Soon I will be taking part in another rite of passage. In less than a month, my daughter will be turning 21. I will be taking up a complaint against the Big Skipper on this one, however. Just yesterday it seems she was wondering what shoes go with grape Kool-Aid stains. Just yesterday she was fighting with me about cleaning her ears in the tub. Now she is fighting me on a new place for an earring.

Soon I will be taking part in another rite of passage. In less than a month, my daughter will be turning 21. I will be taking up a complaint against the Big Skipper on this one, however. Just yesterday it seems she was wondering what shoes go with grape Kool-Aid stains. Just yesterday she was fighting with me about cleaning her ears in the tub. Now she is fighting me on a new place for an earring. Just yesterday she was laughing and giggling to Saturday morning cartoons. Now she sleeps through them.

Where does the time go? When my brother and his wife recently had a baby, I told him to measure time, just blink real hard until your eyes go fuzzy, now focus … 20 years just went by. Fortunately, it doesn’t go by that fast, it just feels like it. I told him to keep his eyes open, and enjoy every minute of his daughter’s youth, because soon she will be 21, borrowing his car and treating him like an ATM.

Kids’ needs change as they grow. When she was 3, all she needed was a Ziploc bag of cheerios and a tippy cup. Now she won’t rise from her 14-hour hibernation without a chocolate frappucino, shaken not stirred. Years ago clothes that started clean in the morning would be dust rags by 9 p.m. Now, she “borrows” my T-shirts, and if returned they are two sizes too small, and have stains that are recognizable to a criminal investigator.

For the past 10 years, these have been the toughest. Puberty hits with a vengeance, turning your once-innocent son or daughter into a raving lunatic. Screaming matches, followed by slamming doors, are the order of the day. The only way to endure these tough years is to be patient and wait. The day will come when they are out of puberty, and they will want to be your friend again.

But oh, I’m sorry our time is up. After puberty is gone, children get their own lives. New friends, old friends, relationships, careers – all will take place without your opinion or input. You were hoping that when she was 4, the only man in her life was you, and you took care of her every need. You also hoped that this arrangement would never end.

But now it is over. I am no longer the only man in her life. She can take care of her basic needs all by herself. She is officially an adult. With adult problems. Hopefully I can remain an influence on her life. She can still ask me for advice, and take it or not. She can still ask me for money, and I can give it or not. She is in charge of her own destiny, and I am just the guy who kept the Cheerios bag full when she was 3.

I can live with that.




Talk to us

Please share your story tips by emailing editor@kentreporter.com.

To share your opinion for publication, submit a letter through our website https://www.kentreporter.com/submit-letter/. Include your name, address and daytime phone number. (We’ll only publish your name and hometown.) Please keep letters to 300 words or less.

More in Opinion

Robert Whale can be reached at robert.whale@auburn-reporter.com.
The key thing is what we do with our imperfections | Whale’s Tales

I have said and done many things of which I am not proud. That is, I am no golden bird cheeping about human frailties from some high branch of superhuman understanding.

Robert Whale can be reached at robert.whale@soundpublishing.com.
Grappling with the finality of an oncologist’s statement | Whale’s Tales

Perhaps my brain injected a bit of humor to cover the shock. But I felt the gut punch.

Cartoon by Frank Shiers
Legislature back in session next week | Cartoon

State lawmakers return Jan. 8 to Olympia.

Cartoon by Frank Shiers
Santa doesn’t drive a Kia | Cartoon

Cartoon by Frank Shiers.

Cartoon by Frank Shiers
Salute to veterans | Cartoon by Frank Shiers

On Veterans Day, honor those who served your country.

File photo
Why you should vote in the upcoming election | Guest column

When I ask my students when the next election is, frequently they will say “November 2024” or whichever presidential year is coming up next.

Robert Whale can be reached at rwhale@soundpublishing.com.
Here’s a column for anyone who loves their dog | Whale’s Tales

It is plain to me in looking at dogs small and large that a decent share of them are exemplars of love on Earth, innocents who love unconditionally and love their chow.

Robert Whale can be reached at rwhale@soundpublishing.com.
Please protect your children from BS spreaders | Whale’s Tales

Among the most useful things I studied in college were debate, and… Continue reading

Email editor@kentreporter.com.
It’s time to change Kent’s City Council elections to districts | Guest column

If you were asked who your city councilmembers are, would you have an answer?

Don C. Brunell is a business analyst, writer and columnist. He is a former president of the Association of Washington Business, the state’s oldest and largest business organization, and lives in Vancouver. Contact thebrunells@msn.com.
Dear government: Hold your horses when regulating trucks | Brunell

Next to gasoline and diesel, natural gas also has the greatest number of refueling stations.

Cartoon by Frank Shiers
Mariners get red hot | Cartoon

Cartoon by Frank Shiers