Powerball and the lure of Slim Jims: Editor’s note

So now we have another version of the lottery coming to Washington.

Starting Sunday, Powerball will be on the menu at 4,000 retail outlets across the State of Washington – about 35 of them in Kent.

It’s the ultimate in random selection: organizers draw five white balls out of a drum with 59 balls. And one red ball – the aforementioned Powerball – comes from a drum of 39 balls.

I don’t know whether to be excited about this foray into easy money or not.

The last time I won anything randomly was in college. I was in a theater on campus – the movie was “Harold and Maude” – and they had a drawing using ticket stubs. I won a hideous shirt with a giant pink eyeball on it. I don’t remember what the shirt was advertising – pink eye? – but I felt like The Chosen One, walking to the front of the theater to secure my prize.

I later unloaded the garment on a dorm mate who frequently wore her bathing suit as underwear. The pink-eye shirt took her wardrobe up a few notches.

Other than that, I have won nothing – nada – in any random contest.

Come to think of it, I haven’t won much in the non-random contests, either. It’s a good thing beauty pageants and “Survivor” aren’t my cup of tea. I can’t walk in heels, and my “Survivor” team would probably resort to cannibalism to get rid of me.

“Laura? There’s no Laura on this island. But you’re welcome to stay for a barbecue.”

So here I am, parked at the possibility of Powerball.

Given the desert-dry years I’ve gone without a win, I think I should play this game. It’s only a buck, after all. And according to organizers, the next jackpot is $20 million, roughly the GNP of Jamaica. This could be a good thing.

On the other hand, I’d have to get into my car and drive myself across town, then stand in line to buy a ticket. During which time I would find about 10 other things to buy that I don’t need – Slim Jims, tabloids, Pez dispensers and at least one novelty ball cap.

So this $1 purchase could turn into a mini shopping trip. This is starting to require far too much effort, and I need another Slim Jim like Kirstie Alley needs a Twix Bar.

So, no. This time I am not going to do it. I am not going to meet anyone halfway to buy a ticket. And if did buy a ticket, I’d probably lose the thing in my couch anyway. (Incidentally, that’s where I would dig up my dollar.)

But if the Washington Lottery folks ever take a cue from the elections people and start sending out fill-in tickets through the mail, well, they may just get my dollar.

Or better yet, just send me a scratch ticket in the mail WITH my ballot. Now that would be an envelope worth opening. Democracy and capitalism in one happy package.

Meanwhile, I hope some lucky Powerballer around here wins more than a hideous T-shirt.