I have given the impression that I hate television and all it stands for. Not true. I do enjoy some television, but it has to meet my high standards as a person with a brain.
I won’t sit still for any reality shows regarding rich, spoiled little turds called teenagers, who have never worked a day in their life. Also I will flip by at the speed of light, any shows reporting “Tiffany” and her baby’s DNA to try and identify the kid’s natural father. I kid because I don’t care. But here now, for the first time, is a slice of television that I will watch.
“Mythbusters.” I have enjoyed this hour-long show about busting myths, both urban and otherwise, since the show’s inception in 2003. It has a great idea, taking science to find out if myths, legends and general baloney is possible. It has done many shows about sharks, guns and explosives, making it hit the trifecta of stuff guys care about. It also encourages people to look at science a different way, making the frog you dissected in eighth grade pale in comparison.
“C.S.I. Miami.” I have just begun watching this show on DVD and it has started to grow on me. Snappy dialogue, along with the beauty of Miami, makes this a show worth killing an hour for. Although every opening shot resembles an ad for the Miami department of tourism, it is filled with good drama and good acting. Every once in awhile you will see a bikini, but I’m sure that is just an oversight with the producers.
“ESPN.” When ESPN is on, especially during the baseball season, my selective hearing kicks in and communication with me is impossible. Halle Berry could blow in my ear naked and I doubt I would notice her right away. Eventually the traditionally biased East Coast media will have to show a highlight from a West Coast game, say the Mariners, and I can’t wait for the one and only highlight to surface.
“The Simpsons.” Yes, I still watch it. I watched it when it was a 30-second vignette on the Tracey Ullman show. I have watched it religiously for the last 20 years and see no reason to stop now. It is hip, witty and fun and I will miss it when it goes into syndication forever.
And speaking of syndication. I would rather watch a 30-year-old episode of MASH than watch just about anything else on ye old boob tube. Sadly syndication has turned a great episode of MASH into a editing nightmare, where at the end of the episode Father Mulcahy says “remember what we talked about son.” And the soldier will say, “I will Father,” and the two of them were never seen in the first 22 minutes of the show! Now that’s good acting!
That’s my list so far of decent, watchable television. If you have any other ideas of good television I am missing let me know. But if you want me to take a shot at American Idol or Dancing with the Stars, don’t bother to write me. ESPN is always on.
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