Who knows someone who has attempted suicide?”
A forest of hands rose upward.
“Who knows someone who has died from suicide?”
A number of hands slowly rose for a second time.
For activist Heather Carter, the audience at the Saltwater Universalist Unitarian Church in Des Moines Tuesday night was highly responsive. And that was critical – for Carter, 38, was there to speak about suicide in the teenage gay, lesbian, transgendered and questioning community (a demographic known by the acronym LGBTQ.)
And her audience, comprised of teachers, volunteers, church workers and parents, were actively listening, seeking insights into working with these teens.
Carter, who works for a Seattle-based organization called the Youth Suicide Prevention Program, and who identifies herself as a lesbian, had plenty of statistics to share, when it came to the issue of LGBTQ teenagers struggling for identity, and the troubling things that can happen on the path to adulthood.
It’s tough enough being a teen, she said.
It’s tougher still to be a teen struggling with gender issues, where pressure can come from the outside – school, church and family – as well as inside – the internal dialogue of a young person dealing with new feelings and hormones.
“It’s not easy,” Carter said, of the life of a teenager. “We put a lot of pressure on them to succeed.”
So imagine what can happen when you out yourself to your family – and you’re left homeless. That’s a reality, Carter said, for many teens in the LGBTQ community, of whom more than 20 percent are kicked out of their homes when they come out.
LGBTQ teens – or those who are labeled as such by their peers – also run a greater risk of being bullied or discriminated against in their schools.
Carter quoted several studies showing the often-rocky emotional lives of teenagers in the LGBTQ community.
• Between 20-40 percent of homeless youth identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual. (Transgendered teens weren’t part of the study.)
• An estimated 35 percent of LGB teens will attempt suicide at least once.
• Fifty-four percent of teenagers who identify as transgendered have reported attempting suicide at least once.
“Are any of you as appalled as I am?” Carter asked.
What adults need to be doing is listening to these teens, she said, and listening without judgment.
“Shut your mouths and open your ears,” Carter said, noting that adults who work with teens should realize they probably are working with some who identify as LGBTQ, but who haven’t opened up about it.
“Show you care,” she said, of reaching out to teens, especially those who are troubled. “Ask the questions that get help. Ask in a way that invites them to open up to you.”
Signs that something isn’t right include a previous suicide attempt; talking about suicide or making a plan; a preoccupation with death; giving away prized possessions; and signs of serious, clinical depression, which include moodiness, anxiety, hopelessness, withdrawal, and increased alcohol and drug abuse.
For those teens who do identify within the LGBTQ community and do thrive, Carter noted a number of positive attributes: caring adults; parental support; high self esteem; positive role models; family connectedness; school safety and access to effective health care.
“If you can change their outcomes that much by just supporting them as a whole, you’re going to reach a whole lot of people,” Carter said.
, of the critical gestures that adults can make.
Another major facet, she said, is for organizations that are attuned to LGBTQ needs and acceptance need to broadcast that out to the community at large.
“Don’t just know you’re safe and welcoming – express it,” she said, noting even if churches or other organizations don’t have programs that teens can access, they can certainly partner up with those organizations that do.
“Collaboration truly does work,” she said.
Carter noted another step that adults of the LGBTQ community can take.
To be open about their orientation.
“We need to be out and proud,” she said. “The LGBTQ youth want to be everything that straight youth can be.”
Heather Carter, from the Seattle-based Youth Suicide Prevention Program, speaks Tuesday in Des Moines. Laura Pierce, Kent Reporter
WHERE TO GET HELP
The following organizations have programs focused on teenage-suicide prevention
• Youth Suicide Prevention Program: www.yspp.org, 1-800-273-TALK
• Teenlink: www.866teenlink.org; 866-833-6546
• Seattle LGBT Community Center: www.seattlelgbt.org; 206-323-LGBT
• Kent Youth and Family Services: www.kyfs.org; 253-859-0300
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